“Faon” – The name sounds like some strange, foreign, powerful (yet, somehow sexy and strangely attractive) ancient (and potentially EEEEVIL – say it out loud with me – EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL) GOD, and you need to make sure you say GOD as that you are wielding a scepter (with a huge stone –and let’s not forget LOTS AND LOTS OF SKULLS – who doesn’t LOVE skulls – carved into it). But… It means “Fawn” or “Faune” (the mythical creature, who sadly, doesn’t have that previously mentioned scepter…or…even MORE sadly…the skulls…I like skulls…), I suppose, it could mean “? ??????? ???????,” which, as you know, is Russian for “I am an evil squid” (that is for my Slovenian friend and that, unfortunately, is the closest *I* can come to speaking Slovenian). But… I digress… Ahahaha!

Back to FAON THE TERRIBLE! (If any of you have read my writings before, you should NOT be at all surprised that I write this crap, so don’t look so shocked…yes, I can see you…and that awful outfit…)

Looking at it when I first installed I thought – what the *hell* am I supposed to do with THIS? TRUST ME – it’s not nearly as complicated as it looks (keep in mind that I have the mechanical aptitude of a jellyfish, which as you know, generally, don’t work as mechanics, FYI) and less patience than a brown bear (I am from Alaska – I know this).

“It will be difficult to find a similar theme on the market” is an understatement. “Elicite” is the *ONLY* other theme designer of this caliber (keep in mind, *with* Hedone, this makes TWO thus far – I am not saying that others are untalented, but Hedone and Elicite are the “standard by which others are judged” and I, as one who has put out FAAAR too much money on themes, know this firsthand) and even THEY don’t have anything LIKE this. *I* always try and keep an eye out for anything interesting or different (and, at the same time, will keep me from EATING my Blackberry – not terribly tasty…don’t believe me? Take a lick and get back to me…).

The edges of the navigation ring in the middle move up and down – the left side edge (with the little arrow politely saying “you are here” in that airport-calm-but-I'm-probably-a-serial-killer voice) the *battery* meter. The right side is the signal strength telling you that you are, in fact, in direct communication with FAON himself!. Or…uh… something like that anyway…

Faon is simple even though it LOOKS complicated. Give it 30 minutes to USE it (and I am not talking about one of those wimpy Blackberry users who still have 38 applications installed, 33,702 messages unchecked in their “superhooker” Hotmail account and only have the silly thing “because it was free”). I am talking about the Blackberry user who isn’t afraid to knock someone down, walk off a cliff or break a nose running into something at the mall because they can’t be bothered with looking up from “La Machina Nera” (which is Italian for “The Black Machine” – which is what I call mine). I am not saying this is not for the novitiate or casual user, because, it really is, but… the theme is WELL-EXECUTED. It is clean and INCREDIBLY useful. The layout on the main-screen consists of the Messages, Phone, Calendar, and Browser buttons (I swear…if one more idiot puts “MediaNET” on the home-screen…straight to the moon, ALICE! – **WHY** do we have that on these horrifically expensive devices again?), which (CONFESS! CONFESS!) is *truly* what most of us use.

“Faon” – The name sounds like some strange, foreign, powerful (yet, somehow sexy and strangely attractive) ancient (and potentially EEEEVIL – say it out loud with me – EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL) GOD, and you need to make sure you say GOD as that you are wielding a scepter (with a huge stone –and let’s not forget LOTS AND LOTS OF SKULLS – who doesn’t LOVE skulls – carved into it). But… It means “Fawn” or “Faune” (the mythical creature, who sadly, doesn’t have that previously mentioned scepter…or…even MORE sadly…the skulls…I like skulls…), I suppose, it could mean “? ??????? ???????,” which, as you know, is Russian for “I am an evil squid” (that is for my Slovenian friend and that, unfortunately, is the closest *I* can come to speaking Slovenian). But… I digress… Ahahaha!

Back to FAON THE TERRIBLE! (If any of you have read my writings before, you should NOT be at all surprised that I write this crap, so don’t look so shocked…yes, I can see you…and that awful outfit…)

Looking at it when I first installed I thought – what the *hell* am I supposed to do with THIS? TRUST ME – it’s not nearly as complicated as it looks (keep in mind that I have the mechanical aptitude of a jellyfish, which as you know, generally, don’t work as mechanics, FYI) and less patience than a brown bear (I am from Alaska – I know this).

“It will be difficult to find a similar theme on the market” is an understatement. “Elicite” is the *ONLY* other theme designer of this caliber (keep in mind, *with* Hedone, this makes TWO thus far – I am not saying that others are untalented, but Hedone and Elicite are the “standard by which others are judged” and I, as one who has put out FAAAR too much money on themes, know this firsthand) and even THEY don’t have anything LIKE this. *I* always try and keep an eye out for anything interesting or different (and, at the same time, will keep me from EATING my Blackberry – not terribly tasty…don’t believe me? Take a lick and get back to me…).

The edges of the navigation ring in the middle move up and down – the left side edge (with the little arrow politely saying “you are here” in that airport-calm-but-I'm-probably-a-serial-killer voice) the *battery* meter. The right side is the signal strength telling you that you are, in fact, in direct communication with FAON himself!. Or…uh… something like that anyway…

Faon is simple even though it LOOKS complicated. Give it 30 minutes to USE it (and I am not talking about one of those wimpy Blackberry users who still have 38 applications installed, 33,702 messages unchecked in their “superhooker” Hotmail account and only have the silly thing “because it was free”). I am talking about the Blackberry user who isn’t afraid to knock someone down, walk off a cliff or break a nose running into something at the mall because they can’t be bothered with looking up from “La Machina Nera” (which is Italian for “The Black Machine” – which is what I call mine). I am not saying this is not for the novitiate or casual user, because, it really is, but… the theme is WELL-EXECUTED. It is clean and INCREDIBLY useful. The layout on the main-screen consists of the Messages, Phone, Calendar, and Browser buttons (I swear…if one more idiot puts “MediaNET” on the home-screen…straight to the moon, ALICE! – **WHY** do we have that on these horrifically expensive devices again?), which (CONFESS! CONFESS!) is *truly* what most of us use.